Not The F1 News: The Virgin Festival Of Speed

After the debut of the beautiful Virgin VR-01 at Jerez, the test is being renamed the Virgin Festival of Speed. Find out why...

VIRGIN TESTERS
The Virgin grand prix car, the VR-01, has finally hit the track in Jerez and is already breaking records! Having been 17 seconds off the pace on Wednesday, the team were ten seconds off the pace on Thursday. Thus in just a single day the team improved their car by a massive seven seconds.

RECALIBRATING THE SPEED TRAPS
Virgin team boss John Booth has moved quickly to dispel any talk that their new car might start the season seven or eight seconds a lap slower than the front runners. In a press statement the Virgin team boss said that Timo Glock would have been a lot quicker, but telemetry showed that he failed to take the handbrake off.

CANADIAN GROUNDHOGS BREATH SIGH OF RELIEF
Virgin's testing was halted while the team sent back to the UK for replacement parts - a big roller for the front and a big roller for the back. Now, where's that freshly-laid tarmac...

THE HARE AND THE TORTOISE...AND THE VR-01
There was gossip sweeping the pitlane in Jerez that Richard Branson wants his F1 car to be a reflection of his Virgin broadband service - looks good on paper but it's slower than you expected it to be (for no explained reason).

NO WIND TUNNEL REQUIRED
Following the debut of the VR-01 in Jerez, the PF1 news team have been trying to find any moving wheeled object that might be slower than the 'revolutionary' Nick Wirth-designed car.

Having discounted a catering-size wheelie bin as "way too fast", they settled on a dead heat between the space shuttle on its way to the launch pad and a portakabin on casters.

AGAINST ALL ODDS
Bookmakers have already adjusted their prices following the track times at Jerez. Odds on Fernando Alonso and Felipe Massa have lengthened while those on Kamui Kobayashi have been slashed. Anyone placing £10 on Timo Glock to win the driver's crown could single-handedly rescue the economy of Greece if he wins.

AND FINALLY... 'BORAT GP'
Not content with sending a container load of "race equipment" to the Bahrain GP to show they mean business, the Serbian GP team, Stefan GP, have announced they are sending another container of "support equipment" to the Malaysian GP. Thus proving they have at the bare minimum two container loads of equipment along with a photograph of a Toyota GP car.

Source: Not The F1 News: The Virgin Festival Of Speed - Planet-F1 News from planet-f1.com